Benson,
Peter, Ph.D. What Kids Need to Succeed. Minneapolis, Minnesota:
Free Spirit Publishing Inc., 1995.
Kids
who succeed have specific assets in their lives - not financial assets
but developmental assets including family support, a caring
neighboorhood, self-esteem, and resistance skills. The more assets
young people have, the less likely they are to lose their way
and get in trouble. Based on groundbreaking nationwide studies, this
book spells out 40 assets - good things every young person needs. More
than 900 specific, concrete suggestions help you build assets at home,
at school, in the community, and in the congregration.
Cline,
Foster, M.D. and Fay, Jim. Parenting With Love and Logic - Teaching
Children Responsibility.
Colorado Springs, Colorado:
Pinion Press, 1990.
As
parents, you have only a few years to prepare your children for a world
that requires responsibility and maturity for survival. So what do you
do? Hover over your kids so that they never make mistakes? Drill them
so they'll remember the important principles when they're on their own?
Tear your hair out, wondering if teaching them responsibility is anything
but a battle of wills? According to Jim Fay, one of America's top educational
consultants, and Dr. Foster Cline, a trend-setting child and adult psychiatrist,
parents who try to ensure their children's success often raise unsuccessful
kids. Because responsibility is like anything else - it has to be learned
through practice. Kids learn the best lessons when they're given a task
and allowed to make their own choices - and to fail - while the cost
of failure is still small. So if you want to raise kids who are self-confident,
motivated and ready for the real world, take advantage of this win-win
approach to parenting. Your kids will win because they'll learn responsibility
and the logic of life by solving their own problems. And you'll win
because you'll establish healthy control - without resorting to anger,
threats, nagging, or exhausting power struggles. To purchase, call 1-800-338-4065
or visit www.loveandlogic.com.
Note
from the authors: "The previous position we outlined on spanking
in the book, "Parenting With Love and Logic," unfortunately,
was our thinking as of 1990 when the book was written. Since then our
knowledge has grown. The world we live in changed, and we have developed
new techniques that are far more effective than spanking." To read
the complete document "Love and Logic® Position Paper on the
Use of Spanking as a Disciplinary Tool", please go to http://www.loveandlogic.com/Pages/0401spanking.html
Faber,
Adele, and Mazlish, Elaine. How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen
So Kids Will Talk. New York, New York: Avon Books, 1980, 1999.
This
book will give you the know-how you need to be more effective with your
children - and more supportive of yourself. The down-to-earth, respectful
approach makes relationships with children of all ages less stressful
and more rewarding. Their methods of communication - illustrated with
cartoons and enhanced with stories from parents - offer innovative ways
to solve common problems. You'll learn how to 1) cope with your child's
negative feelings - frustration, disappointment, anger, etc., 2) express
your anger without being hurtful, 3) engage your child's willing cooperation,
4) set firm limits and still maintain goodwilll, 5) use alternatives
to punishment, 6) resolve family conflicts peacefully.
This
book supports principles taught in the "Becoming A Love And Logic
Parent®" classes nicely and gives more ideas for giving choices,
problem-solving, and allowing children to learn from their mistakes.
Especially of note are Chapter 1, "Helping Children Deal with Their
Feelings", which gives more ideas for the most important Love and
Logic skill, empathy, and Chapter 5, "Praise", which further
illustrates the how and why of giving descriptive praise.
For
Parents Of Girls
Pipher,
Mary, Ph. D. Reviving Ophelia - Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls.
New York: G. P. Putnam's Sons,
1994.
Dr.
Mary Pipher, a psychologist who has worked with teens for more than
a decade, carefully examines the many pressures of adolescence and why
it is much more difficult to grow up today than it was even a few years
ago. She finds that in spite of the women's movement, which has empowered
adult women in some ways, teenage girls are having a harder time than
ever before because of higher levels of violence and sexism in our society.
Her fascinating stories strikingly illustrate how girls face pressure
from peers and our culture to abandon their true selves to conform to
an "image" of what girls "should" be. These pressures
to look and behave in certain ways in order to be accepted, in addition
to girls losing their selves, can lead to the current crises of adolescence
- suicide attempts, dropping out of school, running away from home,
drug and alcohol abuse, sexual promiscuity, teen pregnancies, eating
disorders, and more. Read carefully the last three chapters, where Dr.
Pipher gives success stories of girls who, despite the pain, came through
adolescence with more strength, focus and maturity. She also offers
a wealth of information as to what we as parents can do to help our
girls. Even if your daughter is not in "crisis", this book
will help you toward a deeper understanding of what it is like to be
an adolescent in today's world.
Simmons,
Rachael. Odd Girl Out - The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls.
New York: G. P. Putnam's Sons, 1994.
In recent years,
increasing attention has been paid to bullying among adolescents,
with an emphasis on the aggressive behavior of boys. This book looks
at types of bullying behavior that the author found to be more common
among girls. Lacking cultural permission to acknowledge conflict,
girls develop what Simmons calls a "hidden culture of silent
and indirect aggression" which is subtle and more difficult to
spot or control than physical aggression. The author, who visited
30 schools and talked to 300 girls, catalogues some of these acts
of aggression, including the silent treatment, notepassing, glaring,
gossiping, ganging up, the fashion police, and being nice in public/mean
in private. She decodes the vocabulary of these sneak attacks, and
prescribes clear-cut strategies for parents, teachers, and girls to
resist them.
Wiseman,
Rosalind. Queen Bees and Wannabees. New York: Crown Publishers,
2002.
Queen
Bees and Wannabees takes
you inside the secret world of girls' friendships, translating and
decoding them, so parents can better understand and help their daughters
navigate through these crucial years. Rosalind Wiseman has spent more
than a decade listening to thousands of girls talk about the powerful
role cliques play in shaping what they wear and say, how they feel
about school, how they respond to boys, and how they feel about themselves.
In the book, Wiseman discusses: 1) Queen Bees, Wannabees, Targets,
Torn Bystanders, and others: how to tell what role your daughter plays
and help her be herself, 2) girls' power plays, from birthday invitations
to cafeteria seating arrangements and illicit parties, and how to
handle them, 3) good popularity and bad popularity: how cliques bear
on every situation, 4) Hip Parents, Best-Friend Parents, Pushover
Parents, and others: examine your own parenting style, "Check
Your Baggage", and identify how your own background and biases
affect how you relate to your daughter, 5) related movies, books,
websites, and organizations: a carefully annotated resources section
provides opportunities to follow up on your own and with your daughter.
For Parents
of Boys
Gurian,
Michael. The Good Son: Shaping The Moral Development Of Our Boys
and Young Men.
Gurian,
one of today's premier writers on the subject of male development, moves
beyond the realm of sociological and psychological analysis to provide
a timely and practical parenting guide. Focusing specifically on the
subject of moral development, a matter of hot debate in the wake of
such tragedies as the Columbine High School shooting, Gurian writes
from his own experience as a family therapist. Citing an "increase
in ethical numbness, moral distraction, and spiritual emptiness among
boys and young men," he examines the roots of potential problems,
such as the abandonment of our children's moral development to "potentially
toxic" visual media and then lays out a well-organized blueprint
for ushering boys into adulthood. Gurian discusses such topics as biological
and neurological development as well as building spiritual life and
dealing with media influence (for example, he notes that a boy of nine
or ten should not "see images he cannot or should not experience
with his own body and soul at this time in his life"). Gurian concludes
with a list of age-appropriate books and movies that "stimulate
moral growth in boys." Parents and caregivers will welcome the
direction and reassurance of this outstanding book in their efforts
to guide boys "toward loving, wise, and responsible manhood, the
compassionate life."
Pollack,
William S. Ph. D. Real Boys Workbook. New York:Villard,
2001.
Dr. William Pollack,
clinical psychologist and author of Real Boys and Real Boys' Voices
continues his fight against dangerous gender stereotypes. He
aims to crack the "boy code" (basically, society's unfair
assumption that all boys are testosterone-driven animals who must
convey machoism at all costs) by getting readers to reflect on their
own thoughts, feelings, and habitual responses. Designed to stand
on its own, Real Boys Workbook revisits material covered
in Pollack's other books: spot-on anecdotes about boys and their parents,
boys suppressing emotions, boys and sports, anger and aggression in
boys, bullies and troublemakers, boys and drugs, boys and school,
plus a humbling dose of their loving qualities. In addition, it provides
a broad range of open-ended questions to lead well-intentioned readers
toward a path of more constructive behavior.
For Parents
Of Adolescents
Bradley,
Michael J., Ed. D. Yes, Your Teen is Crazy: Loving Your Kid Without
Losing Your Mind.. Gig Harbor, Washington: Harbor Press, 2002.
Part 1 focuses
on the adolescent. In chapter 1, Bradley discusses the new brain research
and what it shows about what is going on in the adolescent brain.
Part 2 focuses on parents - understanding your role and accepting
your challenge. Part 3 discusses field-testing strategies for effectively
parenting your adolescent.
Haskins,
Diana. Parent as Coach: Helping Your Teen Build a Life of Confidence,
Courage and Compassion. Hara Publishing Group, 2001.
Teaches parents
the seven ways to build a positive relationship with your teen. The
seven ways consist of Respect, Listen, Understand, Appreciate, Support,
Responsibility, and Independence.
Riera,
Michael J., Ed. D. Uncommon Sense for Parents of Teenagers. Berkeley,
California: Celestial Arts, 1995.
In
the first section of the book, Michael Riera begins by discussing the
parent-adolescent relationship. He then covers in subsequent chapters
the specific issues/problems facing teens and ways for parents to address
them in a collaborative/cooperative way. Riera offers a fresh translation
of adolescence, asserting that this period of a child's growth is too
often misunderstood as a phase to be dreaded instead of enjoyed. The
author's uncommon appreciation for this special developmental stage
of life via his unpatronizing approach to teenagers sets this book far
and above the rest.
Uncommon
sense means: 1) resist giving advice, even when your teenager asks for
it, 2) forget heart-to-heart talks; communicate indirectly, 3) give
your kid time to decompress after a long, hard day, 4) let your teenager
brood, 5) embrace estrangement, 6) expect inconsistency, 7) let your
kid do some of the worrying, 8) finally, relax, and don't take it
personally!
For
Kids
Bradley,
Michael J., Ed. D.Yes
Your Parents Are Crazy: A Teen Survival Guide. 2004.
In
this new companion book to Yes Your Teen Is Crazy!, teen psychologist
Michael Bradley turns the tables, talking to teens about parents-why
adults behave the way they do, about the pressures teens face, ideas
for how they can handle the pressures, how it makes their parents crazy
as well, how to handle their parents and other adults in life's confusing
and difficult situations, and how they can maintain a relationship with
their parents as they move through the teen years.
Riera,
Mike, Ph. D. Surviving High School. Berkeley, California: Celestial
Arts, 1997.
In
Surviving High School, counselor Mike Riera, Ph. D., who has
worked with students for over nineteen years, speaks directly to students
about the situations and changes they will face both during and immediately
after high school. Interspersed with Mike's down-to-earth, practical
guidance are the words of teens who offer their own points of view and
experiences with the issues facing high school students, including:
social and romantic relationships, physical growth, home life and parental
relationships, emotional changes, subject aid students in developing
their own spirit and install critical-thinking and decision-making skills.
For
Teachers
Fay,
Jim and Funk, David. Teaching With Love and Logic. Golden, Colorado:
The Love and Logic Press, inc., 1995.
Classroom
management just got easier. If you'd like to spend more time teaching
and less time disciplining students, you need the practical techniques
you'll find contained in Teaching With Love And Logic. This
book is an essential resource for every teacher searching for new ways
to gain student cooperation and for more positive discipline techniques.
The Love and Logic techniques: 1) put teachers back in control of the
classroom, 2) result in students who are internalized in the discipline
rather than dependent upon external controls, 3) raise the level of
student responsibility, 4) teach students to think for themselves, 5)
prepare students to function effectively in a world filled with temptations,
decisions, and consequences, 6) return a teacher's joy of teaching.
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This book list is intended as a public service only and not as a specific
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recent publications on parenting in one place, with enough descriptive
information that you may make an informed coice. These books are listed
with the understanding that FoothillsParentingClasses.com is not providing
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